Beloved Destiny Read online

  "You look all grown up, Carina. When you left here you were a girl, but now you most certainly are a woman. You have a different look about you. There is a calm poise in place of your former buoyant demeanor." Papa obviously was trying to compliment Carina. She lowered her eyes and thanked him. She didn't want to let on that there might be unhappy reasons for the change in her manner. Mama minced no words in her curiosity about whether she might be blessed with a grandchild soon, prying just a bit too deep for Carina's comfort. Carina managed to give her just a little information, including the fact that at this time she was, sadly, not with child, but that she was young and so was Joshua. Mama seemed satisfied with this and didn't press the subject further.

  The ladies' tea the next afternoon was delightful, allowing Carina and Lavinia time to chat, along with other ladies from the area. The refreshments were beautifully served as well as delicious. Everyone seemed to be sorry when time came to leave. Carina hugged Lavinia and they both shed a little tear, knowing they might not see each other for some time. Lavinia was engaged to be married to a gentleman from Tupelo, and would be moving there after the wedding. Carina promised her that she and Joshua would attend the wedding, which was planned for September.

  Time flew too fast for Carina while she was home. She had a good long visit with Mary, whom she had missed most of the household staff. Mary had always mothered Carina and spoiled her as she would her own child. There was an awkward moment when Carina ran into Pebo out in the garden, but they both averted their eyes from each other, choosing to take separate paths. That was the only incident that marred Carina's happiness during her visit. She tried to forget about it in an effort to enjoy her time at home.

  The time for her visit to end came almost before she knew it and tearful farewells took place as Carina was helped up into the coach. She kept a handkerchief at the ready, knowing that she might well need it all the way to Easton Hall. Delia patted her hand comfortingly. "There, there Miz Carina, don't take on so, you soon be home to Mr. Joshua. You probly just tired from all the activity. I get you a cushion an' you lay your head on my lap and rest on the way." Delia opened the carpet bag and removed a lacy pillow, cradling Carina's head on it as she lay across the seat. She was soon asleep, exhausted from excitement and emotion.

  Thrown back By the Sea

  he carriage pulled up at Easton Hall and Carina shook herself to try to get the cobwebs out of her head. Rubbing her eyes, she saw that there was a strange horse tied to the hitching post. She wondered idly who might be visiting. The door to the house opened just as Carina was stepping from the coach. A gasp escaped her throat, as her hand flew to her breast. She swayed so precariously on the coach step that the footman was forced to catch her arm to prevent her from falling. There on the steps next to Joshua stood William. Impossible, was all she could think. It was not possible. All the color drained from her face and in the next instant, she was caught in the footman's arms as she fainted.

  The next thing Carina remembered was waking in her bed with Delia sitting next to her, rubbing her hands. Joshua stood near the door and walked over towards her as she opened her eyes. "My dear, I know you had no warning and received a bad shock. William just happened on our door step yesterday, and my mother almost had the same fate as you. None of us knew he had returned. We are completely delighted at his return, but perhaps it might have been better if he had sent a letter to precede him. I personally was only too glad to have such a happy shock, but for the weaker sex, these things can be overwhelming. You need to rest, now. William will be staying here for a few days. He stopped at his home to greet his family who, as you can imagine are genuinely ecstatic. I told him we would not allow him to leave until he had told us about all of his adventures. Delia, you can bring Carina a tray with some light supper. She is to stay in bed until morning." He turned and left the room before Carina could say a word. She realized that she probably couldn't have spoken if he had given her the chance. She couldn't move, feeling as if she were a puppet and the strings that held her upright had just been cut.

  Carina stayed in bed as Joshua had commanded her, even though she could hear voices coming from downstairs and longed to be down there listening to William speak. She still couldn't believe that he was alive. Her heart swelled with joy when she thought of him. As anguished as she had felt when she heard he was lost, her happiness was multiplied ten-fold knowing that he lived. She lay there thinking of how he would look when he was close enough that she could touch his hand. She would have to be cautious when Joshua was about and not give herself away. Even though William was his dearest friend, she knew Joshua would not look kindly on the fact that his wife was in love with him. How could she keep the joy off her face? It would have been so much better if they could have been reunited in some private place where no one could see their great felicity. Why had she ever consented to marry Joshua? If only she had known that William was alive! But he had been gone three years. Where has he been; what has happened to him in those years? She would find out, she must know everything he endured during that time. She slept at last, a small smile curving her lips as she thought of seeing her beloved tomorrow. William, William, how I love you.

  The next morning Carina awoke before the sun had made its way above the horizon. Her heart bounded with happiness, but her hands shook with nerves. Delia brought her tea and a biscuit at the little table near the window. There was a small, folded piece of paper near the saucer. She opened it, and read:

  Carina, my dearest love, forgive me for causing you such a fright. I would have moved heaven and earth to have met you alone when first I came back from the dead. I had so hoped that you were still at Camellia Hill, and that I could have wrapped my empty arms around you for eternity. You must let no one see that we have affection for each other. I fear Joshua to be a very jealous man who might try to harm you if his ire is raised. Somehow I will find a way to see you alone.

  W.

  Carina read the note and tore it into tiny fragments, depositing those into the hair receiver on her vanity. She sipped her tea and tried to eat a bite of biscuit, but she could not swallow it. Delia came back to help her dress. Carina wondered if Delia had any suspicions about the note, but the servant's face remained impassive. Carina knew that even if she wondered about it, Delia would never mention it to anyone. Carina dressed carefully this morning, for William's benefit. A soft blue high-waisted morning gown with tight sleeves trimmed in pale yellow ribbon looked very becoming, she knew. She asked Delia to arrange her hair down, lying about her shoulders, and pinned back with the diamond clips. She was pale, there wasn't much she could do about that, except pinch her own cheeks. That helped a little.

  Carina descended the staircase and entered the dining room. Mother Prewitt was there alone.

  "Joshua and William have gone out with Lemuel to take a ride around the plantation. It is such a miracle that William has returned home that they want to spend as much time with him as possible. His survival in the face of all odds makes a very exciting story."

  Carina couldn't contain her curiosity. "You must tell me what happened, Mother Prewitt. We were told that his ship had sunk with all hands. How could he have escaped?"

  "Oh, his ship was sunk, all right, but not in a storm. Pirates boarded, killed all the sailors and pressed the male passengers into service as mates on their own vessel. Then they scuttled the ship, making it look as if it had sunk in a storm. They kept the men virtual prisoners, forcing them to work day and night with little to eat or drink. The scoundrels let their guard down while their ship was being refitted down in the Caribbean and William slipped away. He made his way across the island to a small village where a kindly family befriended him. He stayed there in hiding until the pirate ship sailed. Before he could arrange his passage home, he became ill with some tropical malady. Coming to his rescue again the kindly family nursed him back to health; although he was near death for months. After he recovered he was able to use some gold coins he had hidden in a small pocket
inside his boot to buy his passage to New Orleans."

  Carina was overcome with joy that William survived, but also saddened deeply by the hardships he had endured. It was only a miracle from God that had returned him to her. The irony of the situation was not lost on her. Here she was married to a man who did not want her love, while the man she loved above all others had returned too late for them to ever be together. For just a moment she gave in to despair, wondering why God would have arranged things in this way. The ring on the fourth finger of her left hand felt as if it had branded her flesh with Joshua's claim on her.

  That evening at dinner William and the family laughed and chatted so much that Carina didn't feel she needed to hide her joy. Everyone else was enjoying the great relief his return had caused, freeing her to watch him as he spoke, treasuring the sight of his beloved face. He glanced at her from time to time, but was always careful not to let his gaze linger on her too long.

  William knew he needed to be careful to avoid any suspicion on Joshua's part. His friend was married to the woman he loved, causing him terrible anguish. He feared putting Carina in a compromising situation if anyone knew of their feelings for each other. They must remain discreet at all costs. But soon he must find some way to be alone with Carina or his heart would burst.

  On the following morning, Carina went down to breakfast, finding Mr. and Mrs. Prewitt at the table, but William and Joshua absent. After chatting with the older couple for a short while, she lightly asked where the young men had taken themselves.

  "They have gone to town so that Joshua could attend to some of my interests there. I am just about ready to turn the running of the business completely over to him. He is such a help to me and if he takes on this burden, Mother and I could enjoy our last years in pleasant pursuits. We should like to travel a bit. We could collect some interesting treasures in exotic places and see fabulous sights. It seems we have spent too much time working in our lives. Now we would like to enjoy a more leisurely life." Mr. Prewitt sighed heavily, as if to signify how he looked forward to relaxing a little.

  Carina finished her breakfast and took her leave of the Prewitt's. She felt restless and at loose ends. She decided that she needed to be outdoors engaged in some physical activity. She changed into riding clothes and went to the stables to saddle Pomme. Allowing him to break into a trot and then a gallop, she relished the joy of movement with the wind streaming past her. They almost seemed as one, Pomme knowing exactly what she wanted him to do with barely a signal from her. Their ride was exhilarating until Pomme took a misstep, his hoof slipping on a moss-covered rock, causing his mistress to tumble over his head. She landed on the ground with her leg twisted under her. At first she was glad that they were alone so that no one saw her humiliation. But that feeling vanished after she tried to stand and realized her right ankle could not support her. Try as she might, she was not able to stand upright. Pomme stayed within calling distance and readily came when she bade him, but she could not mount him because of the excruciating pain in her ankle. She almost fainted with the effort, to no avail. Finally she sat and rubbed at the swollen ankle hoping that would ease some of her discomfort. Somehow she had to get back to Easton Hall; nobody would know where she was, even if they realized that she was missing. Thirsty, in pain and emotionally distraught, she laid her head on the soft grass and slept.

  The sound of her own name caused her to wake up. "Carina where are you? Carina!"

  It was William's voice. He had found her!

  "Here I am! William, over here!" She called to him as loudly as she was able.

  He urged his horse on and reaching her, leapt from the saddle. He cradled her in his arms, unable to help himself, his mouth finding hers in a kiss that seemed to last forever. Carina forgot her pain in the exquisite sensation of William holding her, kissing her. She would have been content to never move from this place. He covered her eyes with kisses, her ears, her cheeks; hungry for her taste. Neither of them had any sense of time, simply lost in each other. William murmured his love, holding her tightly as if he could never bear to let her go.

  "Oh, Carina my love, during the years that I was held captive, I feared I would never see your face again. For three long years the only thing that kept me alive was the thought of you. I could not despair when there was a breath of life left in me if I thought I might someday return to you. Even if I only see you from afar, that is enough. "

  Carina stopped his sweet speech with her mouth, holding his head down to her as if she would never let him go. Her hat had been lost, and her flame-red hair spilled over her shoulders like a veil. William ran his fingers through it, marveling at the silken texture. Her smell like honey caused his head to swim. He was lost in her charms to the exclusion of all else.

  "William, I don't want to go back. I want to stay right here with you forever. You are my only love, my true love. Hold me, kiss me forever."

  William was only too glad to obey her command, savoring the sweetness of their moments of stolen pleasure.

  Finally, reluctantly William came to his senses. "All the men are out looking for you. As hard as it is for me to say, we can't be discovered like this, my darling. I must get you home, it is getting chilly out. I will have to lift you up onto my horse, if you think you are able to ride, and I can take Pomme."

  "I'm afraid I can't ride, the pain in my ankle is too great. You will have to put me up in front of you and lead Pomme back." Carina hated to admit her weakness, but she saw no other course.

  William gently placed her on the horse and mounted behind her, cradling her in his arms so that she did not have to move her injured ankle. He savored the moments that he could have his arms around her. Pomme followed behind, the picture of equine docility. Carina would have to be more careful in the future, and not let herself be thrown like a child. But then, she thought, William wouldn't have found her.

  They arrived back at the house where Mr. and Mrs. Prewitt rushed out to exclaim over Carina. Joshua and some hands were still out looking for her. Mr. Prewitt sent a boy to let them know that she had been found. Each search party had been assigned a specific area, so their approximate location was known. It would not be too hard to find and notify them of her return. Two strong men carried Carina up to her room, where Mother Prewitt and Delia applied a warm poultice to her ankle and then wrapped it with arnica. She was given strict instructions that she could only get up with Delia's assistance, when absolutely necessary, and that she was to bear no weight on her right leg. Gertie brought up a tray with hot chicken broth and biscuit, along with some hot tea. After she had eaten, Delia made her lie back while pillows were placed under her foot. Exhausted from the rigors of the day Carina quickly fell asleep, dreaming that William was with her in a garden where they would be forever alone.

  William came up to say good-bye to the invalid as he took his leave of Easton Hall. He had asked his parents to set him up in a law office in Natchez. He remained wearied and still not wholly returned to strength after his captivity. Grateful that he had returned at all, they acquiesced, gifting him with a handsome amount to equip an office and a small residence. He quickly located a building with space enough for his needs. His law office would be on the first floor and he would have residence rooms upstairs. He hired workmen to begin working on his quarters while he stayed at the local hotel until the rooms were finished. There was a gentleman's club down the street where he could take his supper. The sounds of hammering and sawing filled the street, with William coming by frequently to assess the progress of his abode.

  As soon as William opened his office, he sent cards around to everyone in Natchez to alert them to his new enterprise. He was confident that he would soon have a busy practice; there being a dearth of competent attorneys in the city. A heavy workload would help to take his mind off Carina. He found himself thinking about her whenever he was idle.

  William had not ceased to wonder at his fortune in surviving the three years he was held captive by the pirates. He had been starv
ed, beaten, and exposed to vicious storms, but somehow he had survived. Some of the men who were taken at the same time he was were not so fortunate. Somehow, whenever he thought of just giving in to weakness and death, Carina's face appeared before him and that was enough to give him fortitude. Every night he went to sleep hoping that he could return to her He dreamed that her parents would relent and allow them to marry. When he arrived at Easton Hall and was told that she and Joshua had been married, his hopes were dashed. For some days after that he mourned the love that could have been. Of course, he could not have a dalliance with his best friend's wife. No matter how much he loved her, his honor would not allow him to do that. And of course, Carina was too honorable to do such a thing even if he wished it.

  Carina's dilemma

  s her ankle healed, Carina was forced to be idle. She was allowed to lie in bed or sit in a chair with her foot propped up, nothing else. She tried to work on her needlework, painting, account books, anything to take her mind off of William, but no matter what she tried to busy herself with, he was constantly before her. Finally, after two weeks of misery, she decided to stop fighting her own feelings and admit that she was hopelessly in love with William and that she always would be. She despised and feared Joshua, while knowing that he wouldn't allow her to go free. He would hold her in the bonds of matrimony at all costs to avoid scandal and humiliation. She decided to take matters into her own hands.

  A month after Carina's injury, William's offices and his rooms were ready. He had his name painted on the door and placed the law books he had brought from school into the barrister's bookcases which he had moved in. He didn't need any staff at the moment since his clientele would probably build up slowly. Later, he would have to hire a clerk to assist with briefs. The rooms upstairs were simply but tastefully furnished with the few pieces of furniture that a bachelor would need. He had chosen to use one room for a sitting room, the second for his bedroom. Tall windows facing the front of the building gave him a panoramic view up and down the street.